This just in - film at eleven . . .

Our local morning news is on for something like four hours and it's obvious they are getting desperate for things to talk about.  This morning, one of the lead stories was - get this, are you sitting down? - bacon and sausage are bad for us!!  Oh, no!!  Who knew?!?  And - prepare yourself! - hot dogs and bologna are not healthy foods!!  In fact, we shouldn't eat processed meats of any kind!  What a stunning development!!

You'd think that there would be one person, one person, involved in a news broadcast who might say, "This is supposed to be news.  Maybe we should tell people something they don't know."

Is that too much to ask?